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no, not my boyfriend. my ex.
i dont hate hate him, but looking back, i hate the way he treated me. sure, he was tons better than all my previous relationships, but i realize he treated me bad, sorta?
i remember being called a hoe multiple times, and when id vent to him, he’d brush it off. what the actual fuck?? i get he doesn’t do emotional shit, but he could’ve atleast acknowledged my fucking feelings. I understand depression changes people, but let’s face it. it’s IRONIC how he can have depression but not have emotions. how does that work? i have depression, and don’t get me wrong, i feel empty a lot, but that’s still a feeling- it’s the feeling of feeling drained or wrung out. he says it like he’s just emotionless. i don’t get it.
he’d also make jokes about women. i didn’t really care, but it kinda pissed me off. there’s so much I could’ve said about him, but i kept my mouth shut, like a decent fucking human would do. there were more pros then cons about him, but there were an abundance of fucking cons. I feel like i was more attached to him than any of my other boyfriends, which is the part that scares me the most. i, to this day, still have no clue why i was so attached to him. i mean, I could barely even gain the balls to break up with him, which im glad i did. i had to get out of the misogynistic shit hole that was my ex. okay, im being dramatic, but he was misogynistic sometimes. i hate dwelling on the past, since i could care less about it, but as i review that relationship, i realize it was fucking embarrassing. the things he’d say to me were humiliating. if im being honest, im glad i kept most of my shit to myself. i trusted him a lot, but there were some things that i decided to keep to myself since i can’t fully trust anyone, except for my “sister” (my closest friend).
even my sister agrees that it was a good thing i broke up with him, and she says she notices im a lot happier. don’t know what it is, but in that relationship, i was also struggling with a deep bout of depression, and it fucking sucked having a boyfriend like him during that. im being very dramatic about this entire thing, but to be real, he needs to learn to respect himself, his parents, and fucking women. I’d never say this to his face because im not a bitch, but he was so fucking immature. im just glad to be out of it, and i never want to go back. this past year was absolute hell, yet fucking heaven.
i dont hate hate him, but looking back, i hate the way he treated me. sure, he was tons better than all my previous relationships, but i realize he treated me bad, sorta?
i remember being called a hoe multiple times, and when id vent to him, he’d brush it off. what the actual fuck?? i get he doesn’t do emotional shit, but he could’ve atleast acknowledged my fucking feelings. I understand depression changes people, but let’s face it. it’s IRONIC how he can have depression but not have emotions. how does that work? i have depression, and don’t get me wrong, i feel empty a lot, but that’s still a feeling- it’s the feeling of feeling drained or wrung out. he says it like he’s just emotionless. i don’t get it.
he’d also make jokes about women. i didn’t really care, but it kinda pissed me off. there’s so much I could’ve said about him, but i kept my mouth shut, like a decent fucking human would do. there were more pros then cons about him, but there were an abundance of fucking cons. I feel like i was more attached to him than any of my other boyfriends, which is the part that scares me the most. i, to this day, still have no clue why i was so attached to him. i mean, I could barely even gain the balls to break up with him, which im glad i did. i had to get out of the misogynistic shit hole that was my ex. okay, im being dramatic, but he was misogynistic sometimes. i hate dwelling on the past, since i could care less about it, but as i review that relationship, i realize it was fucking embarrassing. the things he’d say to me were humiliating. if im being honest, im glad i kept most of my shit to myself. i trusted him a lot, but there were some things that i decided to keep to myself since i can’t fully trust anyone, except for my “sister” (my closest friend).
even my sister agrees that it was a good thing i broke up with him, and she says she notices im a lot happier. don’t know what it is, but in that relationship, i was also struggling with a deep bout of depression, and it fucking sucked having a boyfriend like him during that. im being very dramatic about this entire thing, but to be real, he needs to learn to respect himself, his parents, and fucking women. I’d never say this to his face because im not a bitch, but he was so fucking immature. im just glad to be out of it, and i never want to go back. this past year was absolute hell, yet fucking heaven.
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