phoenix’s diary

I built up enough courage to finally un-add my ex, and to be honest, I’ve never felt so free yet so regretful. No, I didn’t block him. Deep down, I hope I can someday regain a decent friendship with him. He’s just changed since I met him, and a part of me believes it’s my fault. I’ve never felt like I belong anywhere, and only recently began to find myself. I wasn’t anywhere close to being “okay” while I dated him, which most likely left an impact on his mental health. I un-added him because I’m guilty of ruining him, and drowning him in myself. I’ll never forgive myself for being so selfish and inconsiderate the past year and a half. But, now that I’m healing, I realize that not having him in my life would be better for the both of us, atleast for now. I want to focus on making up to myself before I consider making up to him. I hope he becomes his best self, and fulfills his dreams, even if that is without me in his life.